Quintessential Love Triangle
by My God Can Beat Up Your God
Summary: Kikyo and Inuyasha are having a moment, and Kagome conveniently spots them. She's devastated, and... oh, hey, chocolate... Oneshots.
1. Inuyasha and Kikyo

**Disclaimer:** I did not create InuYasha. Rumiko Takahashi did. I'm not that creative. Give me a break, I'm just a simple-minded parody writer.

**This is fairly short, but I like it. If it was longer it'd just... I don't know... Ruin it. You know?  
It's just a little parody on the whole 'Kikyo and Inuyasha together and Kagome sees them, oh my!' thing. No Kikyo bashing, no Kagome bashing, and no Inuyasha bashing.Well, _I _don't think so anyway. But I guess parodies bash everyone, right?**

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**

Inu-yasha's forest.

All is silent in the clearing, save for the sound of birds chirping serenely in the background.

The aforementioned hanyou landed softly in the area, appearing very anxious, if not a bit earnest.

He tensed at the rustling of a few soul collectors flowing farther into the forest, before making a one-eighty and coming back towards the clearing.

She was close.

"..Kikyo."

The deceased miko stepped out from behind a tree, looking solemn and sad and evil and- no, wait. Not evil. Did I say evil? I meant, uh, picturesque. Yeah. _Picturesque._

Kikyo stood still for a moment, silent, contemplative, before finally speaking in her enigmatic voice.

"Naraku is gaining strength."

Inu-yasha hesitantly edged towards her, one hand outstretched.

"When the time come, _I will _be the one to defeat him, to have my revenge-"

Kikyo was cut off as Inuyasha slammed into her, and in all aspects of the word, gave her a great big bear hug.

Kikyo sighed. "Inuyasha... what are you doing?"

"..Kikyo!" He hugged her tighter.

"Yes, my _name_ is Kikyo."

"...Kikyo..."

_Okay then..._

The miko tentatively returned his hug, her arms embracing him and her body relaxing into his hold, one of her hands conveniently wielding a dagger. Just, you know, to put him _on edge._ Hey, she's dead, she's gotta get her kicks _somewhere..._

_**

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**_

The camera now zooms into Kagome, who, unbeknownst to Inuyasha, had been watching the scene (a very nice scenario and plot point used by both Rumiko Takahashi and fan fiction writers alike). Kikyo, of course, had known that Kagome was watching, but she really didn't care and it's not like she intended to initiate a bear-hugging session with Inuyasha in the first place.

The school girl's eyes momentarily filled with tears before she blinked them away, her angsty-ness passing fairly quickly. Whew, thank god that was fast, sentimentality always pissed her off.

"God, I hate those guys."

She paused.

"So much. So very, _very_ much."

Kagome rotated her shoulders around a bit and held back a yawn before glancing around the forest area, spotting something more interesting.

"Oh, hey! Chocolate!"

She blinked.

"..Is that Shippou?"

Kagome attempted to work out the equation filling her head at that moment in time. Shippou plus chocolate equals... Uh...

"_Hey! _Shippou, where'd you get that? It better not have been from _my bag_. I _told_ you-"

Kagome took another deep breath.

"_Miroku_, where are you going with my bike?"

She paused. Again.

Kagome attempted to work out this new, more challenging equation. Miroku plus bicycle equals...

"Miroku, where in the seven depths of hell did you learn to ride that _thing_ anyway?"

Silence.

"Miroku? Are you listening to me? _Hello!" _Kagome ran off.

* * *

Inuyasha and Kikyo stood a good ten feet away, having been brought out of their, erm, _romantic_ reverie moments ago by Kagome's blabbering.

Kikyo stared after Kagome, watching her run away in the opposite direction through faintly interested eyes.

"She seems _very _loyal."

Kikyo paused.

"And her attention span just amazes me."

"Keh!"

**

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End

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**

**I am _so_ easily amused.**

**Mou... I have a whole bunch of Inu-yasha one-shots. I can't decide if I should post them separately or post them all under one as different chapters. Any suggestions?**


	2. To Hell

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Inuyasha, or anything else, generally. Not anything I could be sued for, anyway. Except for maybe some bootleg copies of movies, but...

..Wait, I didn't say that. Scratch that out! You didn't hear anything!

**Author's Note**: Thank you for the reviews, there are so many Inuyasha fan fictions on the site that I'm surprised I even received any reviews at all. xD I try to either bash all the characters, or not to bash any of them; I like BOTH Kikyo and Kagome; Inuyasha gets on my nerves, but I try not to make him seem completely retarded.

...What? I _do_ try...

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**SUMMARY**: Kikyo decides she finally wants to be with inuyasha.

...in hell, that is.

* * *

Inuyasha stood there, eyes wide, shock clearly written across his face. "I... Kikyo, that is... I.."

She had finally asked him The Question. If he would spend the rest of eternity with her in hell, if he'd drop everything and join her. The downside was, either he came with her now, or he didn't come with her at all.

Of course, Kikyo knew that he probably wouldn't join her in hell, but she was bored and thought it would be very amusing to watch him stutter through an answer. Purely for entertainment value, you see. Of course, if he _had_ said yes to her question, she would have smacked him one and scolded him for forsaking his revenge on Naraku.

Silly little hanyou indeed.

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Miroku was in shock.

The houshi came stumbling back into their camping spot after having been spying on Inuyasha and Kikyo (there might have been some _action_, if you catch my drift) only to hear Kikyo ask The Question. Not even waiting, Miroku had ran back, hoping to get Kagome to _sit_ some sense into him, because there was no way in _hell_ that they'd stand a chance against the half demon Naraku without him.

Unbeknownst to the lecherous monk, Sango had been following him—knowing what he had been up to, of course. She had tailed him only to scold him for his spying (or so she told herself) before she had also heard Kikyo's question. The two had run back together, Miroku not even remotely noticing Sango's presence or questioning her appearance.

* * *

"Kagome-sama!"

"Kagome!"

"We've got to hurry!"

"Inuyasha's in trouble!"

"..It's Kikyo, she.."

"..going to drag him to hell!"

"..stop her before it's too late!"

"_Kagome, get up!"_

One eye snapped open followed closely by a second, her vision bleary. Even _with_ non-blurry vision, she probably wouldn't have been able to see anyway because it was still dark out.

Groaning, Kagome glanced to her right, her eyes catching onto the glowing numerals on her battery-charged, glow in the dark _Hello Kitty _alarm clock.

"You guys, it's three in the morning. I have to get to sleep."

"We have to find a way to rescue Inuyasha from her before it's too late."

Kagome looked up at Miroku, blinking in confusion, before throwing her head back down.

"You know what? Screw him. There, I said it. Screw him. Let Kikyo take him to hell. _I_ wanna go to sleep," Kagome rolled over in her sleeping bag.

Miroku and Sango chose to ignore her.

"..Maybe we could..-"

"Inuyasha's such an idiot..."

"What are we going to..."

"_Kagome-sama, wake up!"_

Silence.

"I think she went back to sleep, Miroku-sama."

Miroku looked down at the sleeping Kagome, and then back up at Sango. "Well," he sighed, "we're screwed."

"No, we're not," Sango's fierce gaze caught Miroku's. "There's got to be _something..."_

"Sango, there's nothing-"

"That's not true! We could-"

"What the hell are you idiots arguing about now!"

Dead silence.

"...Inuyasha?" Sango loosened her hold on Miroku's neck, who gasped and inhaled a grateful breath of air. "Is that really you...?"

"Who else would it be? What's up with you guys?" Inuyasha folded his arms huffily and snorted.

"We thought... Kikyo, and..."

"Were you guys spying on me!" The hanyou's stance turned defensive.

"That's not the point!"

"Mind you own damn business!"

Inuyasha's ears twitched before he reluctantly began to speak again. "Naraku's still around killin' everyone, I wouldn't have gone, not before my revenge."

There was a pause as Inuyasha glared at the others.

"..Do you guys have so _little_ faith in me?"

No one responded.

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The End 


End file.
